Day 517, More

I've often heard it said "God will not give you more than you can bear." I don't think there's much truth in that and haven't been able to find it in my Bible.  Hunter in the past 15 month has battled hemolytic anemia already.  His nerves in his legs were attacked last February and he was left unable to walk.  High dose steroids have previously eaten away all his muscle last June, and basically left behind his skin and bones.  His platelets are still an unpredictable balancing act.  Every single one of those challenges have been mentally and physically draining.  But right now, Hunter is battling them all at once.  I'm not saying at all that God has abandoned us in any of these challenges.  What I am saying, is that we are in desperate need for God to protect us for the evil one right now.  More than what we could handle was eclipsed long ago.  In addition, our family has suffered the loss of a child.  Macey and Sadie continue to be monitored in the hospital in Abilene.  My mom is with my Aunt Janet in Dallas today as she had reconstructive surgery and continues to recover from breast cancer.  Do I say all this to make you cry or to feel sorry for us?  No.  That doesn't really help us.  Am I angry at you if you've said those words to me?  No.  But I will share this link that has helped me process the notion of where God is in the midst of suffering.  I firmly believe that the God I serve understands this pain, and chooses to walk with us out of it.

I'm going to quote a few paragraphs of the article:

"Rather than stand and proclaim that we can handle it, we should imitate Jesus.

The night before Jesus was executed, He cried out in the garden, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death” (Matthew 26:38). Jesus told His father, “This is too much for me!”
We see this kind of thing in the Psalms, too. The Psalmists ball their fists in rage, and shout at God, “Why have you forsaken me?” (Psalm 22) 

What these verses teach us is that it’s OK to feel like we can’t handle it, like we are going to give up. We can cry out, “My soul is overwhelmed to the point of death.” And when we do this, we find God—the one who, in the person of Jesus, suffers with us.

What can you do?  Please pray for us.  Hands down, that's our desire.  Pray that Hunter's nerve pain goes away much faster than what the doctor could even imagine.  Pray his muscles start getting signals from his battered myelin and he shows improvement in muscle funtion.  I don't care that the neurologist thinks this could be a while.  I'm tired of watching a husband frustrated he can't use his arms to scoot himself up in bed and struggles to feed himself.  Hunter is only human, and I'm praying for results that only God can orchestrate.  And I believe that God can heal Hunter.  Pray that Jana and I can continue to take care of Hunter's physical and emotional needs here in Houston.  Pray for Team Hanner in Abilene, that is currently stretched a little thin and taking care of four little boys.  Thank you to those of you who have filled our freezer with meals, helped get our kids to and from school, tended to our house, and texted encouragement to us.  We appreciate those who are ministering to us.  Pray for wisdom for the doctors taking care of us.  We cling to anything positive that comes out of their mouths right now.

checking email

We do have some good news today.  Hunter's hemoglobin came up for the first time in weeks.  Today is was 9.0 and yesterday is was 8.6.  We are thankful and prayerful that this trend of increasing hemoglobin will continue.  We need the hemoglobin to come up more.  They are going to keep Hunter in the hospital at least through Wednesday.  All the viral studies from his LP have so far come back negative, but we are waiting on a couple more before we start the Rituxan, probably tomorrow.  Honestly, he is not in any shape to be at home presently.  I am begging and pleading for him to feel better immediately.

Jana and I are trying to pass some time.....Lady Mary and Matthew forever:)

 These boys had a big time this weekend.  Mom said that when Benton woke up Saturday he was excited to have the whole day to just play.  Bless his little six year old heart!  School can be exhausting.  Saturday after naps they went out to the farm to play with G-Daddy.  Cows, donkeys, rock throwing, and tractor riding are all really high on their fun list.  We are glad our family takes such good care of the boys and lets us focus on Hunter.

 We are in over our heads.  Pray our lifeline comes quick.  We've already got more than we can bear.